Wednesday, 7 January 2015

Arcade Stallholders on Holiday

When stallholders Adrian and Jane Jefferies went on holiday to Laos in December, they kept us informed and entertained with an email holiday diary of their adventures. Please excuse the bad jokes as I share with you the messages I received from the other side of the world.

Part 1

Dec 14th 2014

Hi all,

I am sat in the exercise yard of cell 23 D block (the hotel used to be a prison) in Luang Prabang listening to the 4:00pm temple drums from the local temple. We are feeling very relaxed as is the way of life here. Bangkok was good, we got upgraded at the hotel to a room with an electronic toilet (the bumwasher 2000) which combined the comfort of a heated seat with either a colonic irrigation or an enema depending on the water pressure.

In Laos we have been to umpteen temples, given alms to the monks (pre dawn....), visited the spectacular Kuangsi waterfalls and visited the Pakou caves after a 2 hour trip along the Mehkong.

Weather glorious and the Laos food very good especially the riverweed and the local sausage. Off for another massage soon followed by dinner at a Laos-French restaurant......

Ventiane tomorrow for 4 nights before embarking on the cruise.

Keep the sales going, they help us suffer these long holidays...!!!

Adrian and Jane

With the exception of the washroom facilities, Adrian really knows how to make us jealous!

Dec 16th

Two monks taking pictures of each other at the waterfalls

Hi All,

We have been released on parole from Luang Prabang prison (aka Hotel de la paix). I got time off for good behaviour and Jane bribed the warden with a half eaten jelly baby. We flew down to Vientiane on a new airbus which was slightly better than the Sopwith dromadary (had two propellers) we flew to Luang Prabang in. Ventiane is the smallest capital in the world. Makes Hungerford look like a metropolis.....The hotel is quite nice, now the air con is working, and the mango jam at breakfast was worth travelling 6000 miles.
I have a strong body according to my Nepalese masseur and very handsome according to my laos masseur. Unfortunately the latter was a chap so perhaps that might not count, he did have good hands though and my feet really appreciate his touch.
The weather for the next few days is ......."Scorchio!" - bright blue skies and temps around 30 degrees C (oh the hell of it!!!).
I have attached a photo (taken by Jane) of a couple of monks taking each others photo at Kuangsi waterfalls, its so typical Laos.
Tour of Ventiane tomorrow, more temples and a Buddhist statue park.
Food is still terrible, Jane had homemade pork pate last night. Just a starter but was a massive slab. My crab gratin was just as terrible as was the duck in mango and pepper sauce!
Must go, its gin on the balcony whilst we count the number of bird species (so far 2, sparrows and a little brown one), the Lao catch and eat the rest.
Adrian and Jane

Dec 18th

A smug adrian having a pedicure on the banks of the MeKong

Hi all,

Just had dinner at the restaurant.....terrible...frozen mango and lime daiquiri, pork and eggplant red curry and pineapple in palm sugar caramel with coconut ice i suffer to keep you amused. The attached photo is moi having a mobile pedicure whilst watching the sun go down over the Mekong. How enterprising these Lao are, my feet were scrubbed, pumiced and my toenails cut and filed to perfection.....I rejected the nail polish bit!
The tour of the city was very good yesterday although Jane did manage to vandalise one of the temples and then told off a tourist for touching a buddha statue.....our guide nearly died laughing when the tourist said sorry in a high pitched whine!
Tomorrow we are heading off across the river back into Thailand to board the cruise ship (I think its the Black Pig) for a week of plundering and pillaging along the Mekong.....I don't mind the plundering but the pillaging......I'm getting too old!
We may be out of wi-fi range for a week but if we can we will let you know of our latest adventures.
Adrian and Jane

Watch this space for Part 2 of the journey in a couple of days.


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